[ He laughs only because this still feels unreal. He keeps thinking he's going to wake up in his bedroom and find this was all just some dream his head made up. The sweetest dream.
[Dreams can be wild and vivid. Can they ever be as sweet as this? Frank's imagination has never been so wild enough to just throw together a person as real and dimensional as Peter.]
I had gone to the show with my brothers and my folks. We'd go every month or so if we could afford it. And I was sitting between my Ma and Pa. I don't remember what we'd seen. But there was a man and a lady and.... they were dancin' together. My Ma she loved movies like that and asked me if I ever wanted to dance like that. I told her yes.
...cuz I wanted to dance with that fella. I didn't understand what it meant or anything. The lady, she was pretty too. I wouldn't have minded with her but just... the way he moved. Something in me said that I belonged like that.
[ With how wild his imagination gets, Peter is sure it probably could. Maybe. Frank seems like the perfect guy. Everything he ever wanted and plenty he didn't know he wanted until it was there in front of him.
Peter feels himself smile as he listens but then ducks his head, his face going warm from embarrassment at the memory of the first time he realized it. ]
It was a few years ago. Just hit "puberty" and all that. No one would shut up about it. I kept being told to respect girls, don't try sneaking any of those "girly magazines" and all that. I got annoyed because I just... didn't care about that. I didn't want to. I didn't think much of it until I saw some guys, a little older than me, playing baseball. Some were shirtless and... I got hard watching some of them.
[ He reaches up a hand to rub his face, almost groaning again. ]
I thought there was something wrong with me. That there had to be. I shouldn't feel that way watching some guys, you know? But I did. Started... thinking about a lot of dirty shit, too.
[The rosy tones suit him. Frank's not sure how to express why other than it just does. He reaches over and brushes his fingertips over the other man's cheek.]
That... yeah. That wasn't easy either. I mean. Working in the fields with not just my brothers but the ranch hands.
[He guiltily bites his lip with his own brand of embarrassment.]
Nothing wrong with you. Not a thing. I mean, maybe no one else has it. But we didn't try for it or nothing.
[Frank goes to fetch a class for himself and sips at it, standing. Peter could use a little space likely. Cozy as he is in bed. Not like he needs to be eyeballed while eating his goddamn hoagie.]
You're welcome. Really didn't think I had much here to offer you anyways.
[ Around another mouthful of sandwich, Peter is quick to argue against that, ]
You have a lot to offer.
[ He swallows the food to keep talking, ]
You're really smart and well-read and I don't meet a lot of guys like that. So many of them want to act like reading is dumb or something. It's really bizarre--
[ But then he catches himself because he realizes he's starting to go on a tangent. ]
You don't have to have a "formal education" to be well-read. You just... have to read.
[ He laughs a little at the last part, because it's silly how many people probably think they don't have it in them to go on to "higher learning" just because they haven't taken all the classes. ]
[ All Peter can do is laugh at that because Frank's got him there. But then Frank brings up how he might've been a priest and Peter zeros in on that. ]
...you were almost a priest? Seriously?
[ That... makes him feel dirty on a whole other level. And not in a bad way...
[Though Peter in his way has been enabling. Oh yes he has. Frank brought him a sandwich and let him sleep in his bed well past the acceptable times. If this isn't smitten then what the hell is.]
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Laugh at him all he wants but this is the real deal.]
Being different isn't easy.
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He looks back down at the sandwich, ]
No, it isn't.
When... when did you know? That you liked guys?
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I had gone to the show with my brothers and my folks. We'd go every month or so if we could afford it. And I was sitting between my Ma and Pa. I don't remember what we'd seen. But there was a man and a lady and.... they were dancin' together. My Ma she loved movies like that and asked me if I ever wanted to dance like that. I told her yes.
...cuz I wanted to dance with that fella. I didn't understand what it meant or anything. The lady, she was pretty too. I wouldn't have minded with her but just... the way he moved. Something in me said that I belonged like that.
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Peter feels himself smile as he listens but then ducks his head, his face going warm from embarrassment at the memory of the first time he realized it. ]
It was a few years ago. Just hit "puberty" and all that. No one would shut up about it. I kept being told to respect girls, don't try sneaking any of those "girly magazines" and all that. I got annoyed because I just... didn't care about that. I didn't want to. I didn't think much of it until I saw some guys, a little older than me, playing baseball. Some were shirtless and... I got hard watching some of them.
[ He reaches up a hand to rub his face, almost groaning again. ]
I thought there was something wrong with me. That there had to be. I shouldn't feel that way watching some guys, you know? But I did. Started... thinking about a lot of dirty shit, too.
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That... yeah. That wasn't easy either. I mean. Working in the fields with not just my brothers but the ranch hands.
[He guiltily bites his lip with his own brand of embarrassment.]
Nothing wrong with you. Not a thing. I mean, maybe no one else has it. But we didn't try for it or nothing.
[A sigh rolls out and he scoots closer.]
Dirty stuff? Like what we did?
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Other men have it. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a club for them all.
[ But then he's shaking his head quickly, trying not to laugh, ]
I can't talk about all that!
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[Not em. And maybe that's the most important distinction. Frank has felt so very alone before now.]
Why not?
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[ Takes a larger bite of it than necessary. He's also not wanting to come across like some pervy guy to Frank after they just met. ]
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[Point made and he is eating a sandwich.]
Something to drink? Water? Milk?
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M'ahter
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Water. Right.
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Thank you. For the water. And the sandwich.
[ He licks his lips, ]
And everything else.
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You're welcome. Really didn't think I had much here to offer you anyways.
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You have a lot to offer.
[ He swallows the food to keep talking, ]
You're really smart and well-read and I don't meet a lot of guys like that. So many of them want to act like reading is dumb or something. It's really bizarre--
[ But then he catches himself because he realizes he's starting to go on a tangent. ]
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I just like to read, Peter. I've never had much by way of a formal education. The books are my mother's.
[He sits again close by, at attention and willing to listen.]
Y'don't have to stop. I like listening to you talk.
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You don't have to have a "formal education" to be well-read. You just... have to read.
[ He laughs a little at the last part, because it's silly how many people probably think they don't have it in them to go on to "higher learning" just because they haven't taken all the classes. ]
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[A little friendly chuckle there.]
Yeah, see. Once they thought I'd go and be a priest or something. That--that wasn't for me.
[Obviously.]
...you went to school though right?
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...you were almost a priest? Seriously?
[ That... makes him feel dirty on a whole other level. And not in a bad way...
(God rest his parents' souls.) ]
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I liked to read, kinda felt like I had a higher calling. Don't make it weird.
[He already knows that look that is zeroed in on his face. Frank reaches our to give Peter's leg a light pinch through the blankets.]
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How am I making it "weird"? I'm just asking!
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[Though Peter in his way has been enabling. Oh yes he has. Frank brought him a sandwich and let him sleep in his bed well past the acceptable times. If this isn't smitten then what the hell is.]
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And now you're corrupting me.
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Is it working? Hmm? Feel like a completely deviant yet?
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I already felt that way last night.
[ A beat. ]
And this morning.
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[Locking eyes with Peter now is difficult when he has a very distracting mouth. Frank is not so very oblivious what's at play.]
I mean, if i didn't do the job right might as well finish while you're here.
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i am so sorry i dropped the ball on this one sobs. it's such a good au ;;;;
returned from the waaaar
really have 😭
miracles~~
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